Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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