Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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