I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
