I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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