But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize