Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
We left an ass print on the piano.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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