White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize