the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
high people should be assigned attendants
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
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