Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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