THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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