I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
NoShamevember. You game?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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