Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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