Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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