He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
