His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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