You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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