Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Randomize
