is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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