We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
