erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
