i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize