Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
