i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
