Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize