her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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