yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
