dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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