you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize