Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
