So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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