woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize