I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
