Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
