yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
