i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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