Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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