life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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