her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
