It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
it hurts more in the daytime
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
