someone threw a dead crab at me
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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