i'm signing you up for texting rehab
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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