He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Randomize
