I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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