May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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