What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
