You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
