You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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