Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
