I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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