"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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