First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
