she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
