so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
