This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize