im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
