The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
