she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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