Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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