Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
