Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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