For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
