this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Randomize
