all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
